XMen First Class on Facebook!
by SageK
Summary: First Class Prompt: Anachronism! Charles and Erik declare themselves to be in a relationship via Facebook. The others react in the most inappropriate and hilarious ways.
1. Chapter 1

Alex Summers has joined Facebook!

Hank McCoy, Raven Darkholm and 4 others Like this)

Hank McCoy: Welcome to the modern tele-communication age!

Alex Summers: I don't get this.

Raven Darkholm: ?

Alex Summers: We live in the same house. Why can't we just walk down the hall and say hi when we want to talk?

Sean Cassidy: Man, have you looked at these halls? Some of them are really long.

Hank McCoy: I'm telling you, someday forums like this will be a major form of inter-personal communication.

Alex Summers: Whatever.

Hank McCoy: No, really! You can just drop a line to let your friends know what you're doing, what you're thinking…your relationships and such.

Hank McCoy likes Raven Darkholm

Raven Darkholm, Moira MacTaggart and 3 others like this.

Raven Darkholm likes Hank McCoy

Hank McCoy, Moira MacTaggart and 3 others like this

Alex Summers: So sweet, I think I'm gonna barf.

Charles Xavier: Raven, is it time to have a talk?

Raven Darkholm: Focus on your own sex life, Charles.

Erik Lehnsherr, Moira MacTaggart and 2 others like this.

Sean Cassidy does not like this

Sean Cassidy: I don't need that mental image, Raven.

Raven Darkholm: Which one? Me and Hank or Charles and Erik?

Sean Cassidy: Either.

Charles Xavier: Raven! Please stop starting rumors!

Raven Darkholm, Alex Summers and 3 others thin Charles doth protest too much.

Erik Lehnsherr: Chess later, Charles?

Charles Xavier: My suite. 10pm.

Raven Darkholm: I don't think you need any help starting rumors.

Erik Lehnsherr, Alex Summers and 2 others like this.

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><p>Sean Cassidy thinks Moira MacTaggart is smoking hot!<p>

Alex Summers likes this.

Alex Summers: Go get yourself a cougar!

Moira MacTaggart is flattered but uncomfortable with the age difference.

Sean Cassidy: Age ain't nothing but a number.

Alex Summers and Raven Darkholm like this.

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><p>Alex Summers: Did anyone else eat the lutefisk? I think it might have gone bad.<p>

Erik Lehnsherr: I don't believe we've had lutefisk here.

Raven Darkholm: What's lutefisk?

Charles Xavier: A pungent, gelatinous dish made from aged stockfish. I fear Alex may have eaten the leftover tuna casserole from two weeks ago.

Raven Darkholm, Erik Lensherr and 3 others do not like this.

Sean Cassidy: Alex doesn't like it either, but he's busy puking up a lung.

Raven Darkholm: Ew.

Charles Xavier: *sigh* Infirmary.

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><p>Raven Darkholm is in a relationship with Hank McCoy<p>

Hank McCoy, Moira MacTaggart and 3 others like this.

Charles Xavier: Congratulations. Now, Hank, do I need to give the intimidating older brother speech.

Hank McCoy: No!

Raven Darkholm: Charles! Do not threaten to kill people with your brain!

Hank McCoy does not like this.

Charles Xavier: Just giving him fair warning, darling. Plus, there are just some things that I do not need to hear.

Erik Lehnsherr: Charles, you voyeur!

Alex Summers and Sean Cassidy like this.

Charles Xavier: Very amusing, Erik.

Raven Darkholm: Oh, just get a room!

Alex Summers likes this.

Raven Darkholm: Seriously, Angel told me that when you two went to recruit her, she thought you were trying to propose a threesome.

Alex Summers, Sean Cassidy and 2 others like this.

Charles Xavier: Inappropriate!

Raven Darkholm: We only tease because we love you!

(2 minutes later)

Raven Darkholm: Charles?

Erik Lehnsherr: He's pouting.

Raven Darkholm: Well, go fix him!

Erik Lehnsherr: In an attempt to be a team player, I shall.

Alex Summers: Who wants to bet they're gonna get busy?

Sean Cassidy: No contest.

* * *

><p>Alex Summers: Sean, kid, there's smoke leaking out from under your door. Put the bong down.<p>

Sean Cassidy: NO. I need it to avoid serious emotional scarring.

Moira MacTaggart: What's wrong?

Sean Cassidy: Someone, who is not me, has to tell Erik and the Professor that their control of their powers gets a bit iffy when they…you know. My room shares a wall with the Professors.

Alex Summers and Hank McCoy are horrified.

Raven Darkholm: You do realize we live in an enormous castle. There are lots of rooms to choose from in other wings.

Sean Cassidy: Thank God. Once I can feel my legs again, I'm so moving.

Alex Summers: Dude, crawl! Get out now!

Raven Darkholm: You know, that's a total double standard. If I was having sex with Moira, you'd all be plastered to the wall, trying to listen in.

Alex Summers, Hank McCoy and Sean Cassidy like this

Moira MacTaggart: Men.

Raven Darkholm: Amen. Now, how are we going to tease them mercilessly?

* * *

><p>Charles Xavier is in a relationship with Erik Lehnsherr<p>

Charles Xavier: There will be no mocking, children.

Raven Darkholm: Nice try, Charles.

Alex Summers: Yeah, I don't think we're gonna be able to follow that directive.

Sean Cassidy: I had to move to another wing of the Castle!

Erik Lehnsherr: Charles, I think we need to institute some hand to hand training for the children.

Charles Xavier: Lovely idea, Erik.

Hank McCoy: We'll be good.

Sean Cassidy and Raven Darkholm like this.

Alex Summers: Bring it on.

Raven Darkholm: Alex! Not to insult your masculinity, but I think everyone will agree Erik inhabits a level of badass the rest of us can only aspire to reach.

Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier like this.

The end….or is it?

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><p>Comments?<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Charles Xavier** is extremely displeased.

**Erik Lehnsherr**: Honestly, children, the man is a telepath and I'm…me. How long do you think you think you'll be able to hide.

**Moira MacTaggart**: Somehow I don't think that's going to encourage them to come out of the woods.

**Erik Lehnsherr**: They've made it to the woods? Last I knew Sean was creeping around the roof, Alex was in the training bunker and Raven and Hank were creeping around through the hidden passages.

**Moira MacTaggart**: I was speaking metaphorically. How the heck do you know where they are? I haven't seen them since Charles gave everyone an accidental headache.

**Erik Lehnsherr**: I always know where they are…and accidental? I don't think you're giving Charles enough credit.

**Charles Xavier**: If you always know where they are, why didn't you stop them from defacing the satellite dish?

**Erik Lehnsherr**: I knew where they were, just didn't care what they were doing.

**Moira MacTaggart**: It's just some graffiti.

**Charles Xavier**: THEY PAINTED SATELLITE DISH!

**Moira MacTaggart**: I thought it was a nice touch that they used your code names. Subtle.

(Picture an image of the satellite dish with the words Professor X & Magneto in a big heart)

**Charles Xavier**: You took a picture? Why?

**Moira MacTaggart**: It's kind of sweet.

**Charles Xavier**: Are you serious?

**Erik Lehnsherr**: All right, now my feelings are hurt.

**Charles Xavier**: Now, Erik, I only meant that it's not wise to be drawing any sort of attention right now. Surely you agree.

**Charles Xavier**: Erik?

**Charles Xavier**: Erik?

**Moira MacTaggart**: He just went stalking by my room, looking like a cranky storm cloud.

**Charles Xavier**: Damn it!

**Moira MacTaggart**: Men.

**Alex Summers**: Is it safe to come out yet?

**Moira MacTaggart**: You've all made Charles very angry and now Erik is angry at him. What do you think?

**Alex Summers**: Mom and Dad are fighting. Shit, it's worse than I thought.

**Sean Cassidy**: I'd say we should run, but between Cerebro and Erik's Nazi hunting skills we probably wouldn't make it very far.

**Moira MacTaggart**: Probably not.

**Alex Summers**: We could probably distract Charles…..

**Moira MacTaggart**: From the 60 foot tall declaration of his and Erik's love on the satellite dish. How? Have aliens invaded?

**Alex Summers**: I think Raven and Hank are using one of the labs…for non lab related activities.

**Sean Cassidy**: Well, at least we don't spend a lot of time in the labs. I stumbled across them out in the hedge maze. Not something I needed to see.

**Moira MacTaggart**: Telling him that would just make the vein in his temple explode. Better just lay low for a few days.

**Sean Cassidy**: I'm thinking about camping out till everything blows over.

**Alex Summers**: In the woods?

**Sean Cassidy**: What? Haven't you ever woken up in the forest with no idea how you got there.

**Alex Summers**: Can't say I have.

**Moira MacTaggart**: Nope.

**Sean Cassidy**: You lot are sheltered.

**Alex Summers**: I was in jail!

**Moira MacTaggart**: And I wasn't interested in wandering the woods stoned.

**Sean Cassidy**: Live a little…Did anyone else just feel like someone kicked them in the head.

**Hank McCoy**: OH GOD! CHARLES JUST WALED IN ON…OH GOD, I HAVE TO HIDE…

**Moira MacTaggart**: You know, the woods aren't sounding so bad right now.

**Alex Summers**: Mind if we join you, Sean.

**Sean Cassidy**: The more the merrier. Bring your own snacks.

**The end….or is it? **

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><p><strong>Comments, pretty please? <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Sean Cassidy: Alex, man, you have to come get me. I was walking to the 711, but got lost in the trees.

Alex Summers: Trees? How are you typing this if you're back in the woods?

Sean Cassidy: Oh, man, I DON"T KNOW!

Sean Cassidy is freaking out

Charles Xavier: Sean, you're in the arboretum, not the woods. There's a computer terminal in there.

Erik Lehnsherr: Welcome back from your camping trip, by the way. When did that end?

Alex Summers: When Moira sobered up enough to miss indoor plumbing and beds not made out of pine needles.

Sean Cassidy: At least we had our pants in the woods.

Alex Summers: Losing them was a possibility?

Sean Cassidy: I seem to have misplaced mine at the moment.

Charles Xavier: *sigh*

Hank McCoy: Who stole my Twinkies?

Sean Cassidy: I liberated them…Is anyone going to come find me? I'm hungry and cold…Oh, apples!

Erik Lehnsherr: Who's with me in voting we never put that boy in charge of anything?

Charles Xavier, Hank McCoy & 3 others like this.

Raven Darkholm: I just passed the arboretum. Why is Sean hugging a tree? While pantless and demanding apples….Also, how did his but get sunburned?

Hank McCoy does not like this.

Alex Summers: Just because we didn't lose put pants in the forest doesn't mean they were always on. Sean and Moira burn really fast.

Charles Xavier has no response for that

Erik Lehnsherr & Hank McCoy agree with Charles Xavier.

Moira MacTaggart: Alex! Everyone did not need to know that!

Raven Darkholm: Go Moira! Get your cougar on!

Moira MacTaggart: Oh, God….

Alex Summers: Hey, I just said there was loss of clothing not that anyone got frisky.

Raven Darkholm is amused by this.

Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr & 1 other like this.

Moira MacTaggart: Discretion, Alex.

Sean Cassidy: A penguin brought me back to my room! He even gave me a cookie!

Charles Xavier: I really need to give the household staff another raise.

Erik Lehnsherr: That would be prudent.

Hank McCoy: There's a staff here? How did I not know that?

Alex Summers: Probably because they avoid the labs and any room explosions commonly happen in, only showing up to do damage control well after the fact.

Hank McCoy: Huh.

Raven Darkholm: There are 2 maids, a butler, 2 groundskeepers and Mrs. Thayer, the cook, and her daughter.

Charles Xavier: I'm afraid they've always found Raven and myself a bit mad, so they try to keep away from us. The recent influx of explosions, broken china and misshapen metal fixtures has done noting to dispel their notions.

Erik Lehnsherr: Having to wrangle half-naked gingers probably isn't helping any.

Charles Xavier: Perhaps not.

Moira MacTaggart: As…interesting as these conversations always are, I'm going to take a bath in aloe. See you all at dinner.

Sean Cassidy: I'm gonna lie on my bed, naked, and eat mangos.

Alex Summers: No one needed to know that, Sean.

Sean Cassidy: You never know….

Hank McCoy: Trust us, Sean.

Raven Darkholm: I'm honestly enjoying being one of the most mature people living here.

Charles Xavier: Raven, that's…Oh, why bother? She has a point.

Erik Lehnsherr: Graciously conceded, Charles.

Hank McCoy & Raven Darkholm like this.

Alex Summers: I'm not going to protest. My plans for tonight include way too much sugar and The Flintstones on TV.

Hank McCoy likes this.

Charles Xavier: While The Flintstones sound tempting, I'm afraid Erik and I have other plans.

Raven Darkholm: IBow-Chicka-Wow-Wow!/I

Charles Xavier: Raven!

Erik Lehnsherr: Where did you hear that, young lady? Not in a cartoon, I'm guessing.

Raven Darkholm: Oh, look at the time! Hank and I are taking a walk.

Hank McCoy: We are…Yes, we are. I'll see you gentlemen later.

Alex Summers: That boy is whipped.

Erik Lehnsherr: And not in the fun way.

Charles Xavier: Erik!

Alex Summers: Right. Off to find enough cupcakes to put me into a sugar coma so I can forget this entire conversation.

Charles Xavier: Mrs. Thayer does make wonderful cupcakes.

Erik Lehnsherr: I prefer the frosting…..

Charles Xavier: …Well, I don't think it should be too hard to acquire the leftover frosting for…later….

Erik Lehnsherr: Why Charles, you read my mind…..

The end….or is it?

* * *

><p>Comments, pretty please?<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Erik Lehnsherr gives Charles Xavier a poke.

Erik Lehnsherr gives Charles Xavier a poke.

Erik Lehnsherr gives Charles Xavier a poke.

Erik Lehnsherr gives Charles Xavier a poke.

Erik Lehnsherr gives Charles Xavier a poke.

Charles Xavier: Yes, Erik, is there something you'd like to speak to me about?

Erik Lehnsherr: Where are the children?

Charles Xavier: Pardon?

Erik Lehnsherr: They're too quiet. That worries me.

Charles Xavier: I'd think you'd be thankful for the respite.

Erik Lehnsherr: Need I remind you of the greased pig incident of Wednesday?

Charles Xavier: Fair enough. Raven and Hank are flirting in his lab. Alex is brooding in the training bunker and Sean…has taken to booby trapping the roof with dozens of mousetraps.

Erik Lehnsherr: What does that boy have against squirrels? And why can't he just lie on the couch, eating cereal and watching cartoons like a normal stoner?

Charles Xavier: I have no idea on either count…Oh, he's distracted now. Moira's sunbathing on the lawn in a bikini.

Erik Lehnsherr: So…the children will be occupied for some time then?

Charles Xavier: That seems likely, my friend.

Erik Lehnsherr: Chess?

Charles Xavier: I thought reading minds was my forte.

Erik Lehnsherr: Maybe you've rubbed off on me.

Charles Xavier: …Not yet.

Erik Lehnsherr: Why Charles, I do believe I've corrupted you!

Charles Xavier: I repeat my last comment.

Erik Lehnsherr: I'll be right over.

Charles Xavier: : )

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><p>Comments?<p> 


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